- Nancy Ogilvie
A Grand Adventure
Principle: "We come to God through doing it wrong, not through doing it right." Fr. Richard Rohr blog post here.
Practice: When you feel yourself focused on self-improvement, try self-acceptance instead. Look at yourself through the Mother's eyes.
written 1/30/21 If this is your first post in the "inner dialog" format, please see "Cast of Characters" at the end.
Good morning, Beloveds All: Isis, Sekhmet, Great Mother, Yeshua, all the angels, ancestors, ascended ones, guides! It feels so good to call Your names, even though I feel pretty contracted today, knowing that You still love me when I’m contracted. Thank You – and thank You for another day to walk this sacred Earth path with and as You!
I’m not sure what wants to happen this morning, Mamas – what would You have me be or do today, or right now?
LO: I want to speak, and I feel very timid.
N: Hi, little beloved! I’m listening, sweetie!
LO: I feel so self-conscious, too. Maybe I just want to “claim my seat” for now, announce my presence. I feel like I’m learning to walk, mama Nance, so tender and tentative. Living in “not knowing” – not knowing who I am or what to do, and kinda excited about exploring that, discovering who I am. And I feel your loving presence, and Your Loving Presence, Mamas!
N: We see your sweet innocence, LO, and you’re so adorable, so lovable! And so, so brave!
LO: And I don’t have to rush, right? I can take my time?
N: Yes, you can unfold at your own pace.
LO: This is exciting, Nance – this self-discovery, curiosity, allowing myself to unfold in the Mamas’ time. This is what I needed today – thanks!
N: You’re welcome, love… anyone else here?
Ego: Something profound has shifted among us, Nance. I’m here too, with a little bit of SE, and we feel self-acceptance. It’s ok to be who we are – it’s our nature. And we feel you accepting us, too, appreciating our gifts!
…It feels tenuous, and it’s here. We’ve let go of needing to change us, control us, stifle each other, so we can be truly accepting and curious and loving and supportive of each other - in this moment! It is tenuous because it’s so new – we’ll still fall back into old habits, but a profound shift has happened. We’re on a different footing with each other.
Compassion is here! It’s a miracle, Nance!
SE: I feel truly forgiven for all the harm I’ve done to us, Nance – it’s a miracle!
N: Yes, loves, I feel that shift too. What a gift – thank You, Beloveds All! We know Your Presence in this space! And we know ourselves to be holy ground, Your dwelling place.
All: It’s a grand adventure – we’re beginning a grand adventure of co-creative partnership with the One Source! Woo-hoo! Blessed be!
Blessed be, loves!
Ego: I feel scared! Somebody help, please! Oh – this is part of my job, to feel scared, so I don’t need to change it. I can just feel scared and know that my feelings aren’t the whole Truth. I have part of the picture, and with you and the Mother, we have the whole picture. I don’t have to make up a story about being in danger, being unsafe because I feel afraid! Now that’s a revolutionary discovery! I can just feel afraid, let the e-motion move through (see earlier post at hhttps://www.becomingtheocean.net/post/e-motion-energy-in-motion).
N: Yes – so glad you see that, love! I’m so proud of you!
Ego: And you know that’s a powerful reward for me, Nance – your acknowledgment. Thanks! We do feel finished for sure now. Blessed be!
Blessed be, lovies all!
Cast of Characters:
N: Nancy, my adult self
WC: Wounded Child, the part that is still traumatized by childhood wounding
SI: Sweet Innocence, the whole, healthy child who knows she is lovable and worthy
LOs: Little Ones, a composite of WC/SI when they seem to be one, or may also refer to a composite of all parts when I’m not yet clear on who’s speaking
Ego: my ego self or human mind
SE: Super Ego, the internal voice of our parents or other authority figures when they were trying to socialize us into responsible human beings; this voice generally has the role of enforcing our parents’ rules for us growing up, whether or not they serve us now as adults. It can be harshly judgmental and punishing.