- Nancy Ogilvie
Becoming the Ocean
Principle: Releasing attachment to your self-will or separate self allows the Divine flow to move through you freely and fully.
Practice: Take a deep breath and reconnect with the Divine as your Source. Pray to do Her will, and trust that your needs will be met.
If this is your first post with a dialog among my inner parts, please see the “cast of characters” at the end of the post.
Good morning, Beloveds! I’m holding so much gratitude and praise in the midst of discomfort and anxiety this morning. I want You to fix that discomfort, to make it better, to remove my shortcomings. And so I turn my focus from wanting You to meet my needs to how I can serve. You have already given me so much, Beloveds! Blessed be!
All: I think we’re finding some willingness to release our grip on controlling our feelings, Nance! And Mamas! Feels like this is all of us parts, collectively.
N: I said to my mentor this morning that I’m noticing a new addiction to control – especially to controlling my feelings. And I’m seeing now that it’s really all about self-will – it’s an addiction to having my way. If I can control my feelings, maybe I can be good enough to get what I want, the way I want. Whew!
...And I did just choose to loosen my grip on that controlling, by shifting my focus from my needs to how to serve. That’s a shift from my will to Thy will be done; may I bring my will into alignment with Yours, Beloveds. When I make that shift, I become available for more of Your Good to move through me to the world, and "my" needs are met beyond my wildest imagination!
The metaphor of “becoming the ocean” is coming up as apt. In my separate self, I am the river, terrified of disappearing forever into the vast ocean of Infinite Spirit. I expect my identity to be swallowed up; I expect to cease existing, and that is terrifying. Yet, I cannot stop my own flow - I need to take the risk of entering that vast ocean of Source.
...And it’s in that act that I discover I have become one with Spirit, far more vast and free than I could ever have conceived as a river. And without a separate identity, without a separate self, I have no needs to be met, no self-will. I am simply being the ocean, being One, being All That Is.
LOs: We’re sitting with all this, and it’s making sense. And we feel tentative.
SE: Me too. Skeptical is the word I’d use, although I want to trust and believe. I do!
N: And that’s ok, loves. We’re proposing an ideal we won’t achieve 100% until we transition out of our body – that’s the ultimate river becoming the ocean. And we get to choose everything about our process here, so we can take whatever time we need. Ready for breakfast?
LOs: Yes! Thanks, Nance! Blessed be.
N: Blessed be!
Cast of Characters:
N: Nancy, my adult self
WC: Wounded Child, the part that is still traumatized by childhood wounding
SI: Sweet Innocence, the whole, healthy child who knows she is lovable and worthy
LOs: Little Ones, a composite of WC/SI when they seem to be one, or may also refer to a composite of all parts when I’m not yet clear on who’s speaking
Ego: my ego self or human mind
SE: Super Ego, the internal voice of our parents or other authority figures when they were trying to socialize us into responsible human beings; this voice generally has the role of enforcing our parents’ rules for us growing up, whether or not they serve us now as adults. It can be harshly judgmental and punishing.