Fully Self-Expressed

Principle: When we run our lives on self-will and self-reliance, humans block the Divine flow through themselves. Opening to Her flow is an experience of ourselves as fully self-expressed.

Practice: The Welcome Prayer from Father Thomas Keating (see Practices page).

Undated (likely sometime in June 2020)

I often start my journaling by asking which of my inner parts wants to check in, and

Sweet Innocence (SI) responded this morning. She is the whole little girl who has always known she is a beautiful expression of Spirit. It was not safe for her to express fully in childhood; her exuberance and energy were often “too much” for the adults in her life. So she has been learning that it is now safe to express herself fully, to reconnect with the Divine flow that wants to move through her.

Nancy: So who wants to check in?

SI: I need some attention and love. I want some encouragement to keep expressing myself fully. It’s ok that I love expressing myself so much, right?

N: Yes indeed, sweetheart! What do you love about it?

SI: I love the freedom, the flow, the joy in it! I love the vulnerability and intimacy. We’re still not always able to be there, but we’re getting enough of a glimpse that we want to spend more time “in the zone!”

N: Tell me more…

SI: We’re acknowledging our love for self-expression and our need for it! I was going to say I’m afraid I’ll get shut down again by other parts, and that’s not it – the fear is about being so visible, feeling so exposed. I’m opening to the flow coming through me from the Mother, mama Nance! I know there’s no stopping it anymore. I am completely and totally the Mother’s and that’s what I want. I’m giving myself freely and fully to Her! I’m still human and will still have human fears come up. My human self will still take over driving the bus sometimes – it’s the nature of the beast. And I have turned my life over to being Priestess of the Goddess!

N: That’s quite a declaration, Sweet Innocence!

SI: And it’s not anything I’ve done – that’s a misrepresentation. The Goddess has claimed me, and I am home! Of course, She claimed me a long time ago, and we’ve been fighting Her tooth and nail. We’ve tried to live life “by sef” – remember that story? When someone offered us help when we were around 2, we’d refuse it by saying “By sef” – “by myself.”

N: Yes, and we’ve continued that pattern of living on our self-reliance and self-will for most of our life. Now you see how isolating it is, how limiting it is, how much of the Mother’s love you’ve not allowed yourself to experience because you were so intent on doing it your way.

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SI: Yes, in those days, the world didn’t feel safe, so doing it our way was how we stayed in control to protect ourselves. Now we’re surrendering our will to the love the Mother wants to pour through us, and learning how joyful and expansive it is to allow Her full expression through us! We feel safe in Her.

N: And you, Sweet Innocence, have always known that! You just got drowned out by the other voices in your early life. But it’s your faith that’s gotten us through all of this pain and suffering in our human existence. Thank you, sweetie – you and the Mother have gotten us through this, brought us home. You have always been Her priestess!

SI: I’m humbled, Nance.

N: I honor you, beloved Sweet Innocence! And we are still a physical human being -- shall we get some breakfast?