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  • Nancy Ogilvie

Letting Go of Control

Principle: Our egos are a useful aspect of navigating our human lives. But they can also block our access to Divine wisdom.

Practice: When you feel your ego trying to control, take a couple deep breaths and imagine looking through God/dess’ eyes. Ask Her to show you how to serve.

written 6/7/20

N: Yesterday was the first day we’ve skipped journaling in a long time – and I don’t think I asked explicitly about whether that felt ok to you, loves. Was it? Who wants to check in today?

Ego: It was great for me! I felt good all day! I loved being busy all day – long conversations with friends, celebrating my brother’s birthday, and then playing rummikub online with a friend. It was such a welcome break from all the emotional intensity for me, Nance – you’re changing SO much, and there’s so much I don’t know, don’t understand. I want it all to make sense, and it just doesn’t! I’m terrified!

N: Thanks for letting us know, love. That’s very brave, and we’re proud of you!

E: I feel really exposed acknowledging that, it’s true. And it might also be that we’re loosening our grip on how critical it’s felt to know, to understand what’s happening for us to be ok. Maybe we can be ok if we don’t know or even if we’re confused, if we don’t understand! It helps that nobody knows about the course of the pandemic and what will happen with the protests. I’m not taking it personally, and that makes it easier to soften, to relax my grasping. It turns out my well-being isn’t as dependent on knowing/understanding as I thought.

N: That’s a very big shift, love. It actually makes yours and SE’s lives much easier, huh?

E: Yes. It makes us much more open to relaxing our need to be in control, because that comes out of the need to know. We’ve believed that if we’re in charge, we’ll know what’s happening, and we’ll be able to control what happens to us. We’ll be able to create the future we want. We’ll always get what we want, like we’re supposed to. Now we see what an illusion that is!

N: Yes – it’s impossible, love, so it’s setting yourself up for failure over and over again. It sounds like the key is the belief that you’re supposed to get what you want always.

E: Yes, and we’ve always thought we needed that to feel good about ourselves, to feel worthy and deserving… it certainly is a self-centered view. We’re grateful the Mother has removed so much of our self-centeredness, our need to get what we want to be ok.

N: It’s your nature as the human mind to want to know, to understand. I think maybe you’re shifting from that self-centered “I have to have what I want to be ok,” to being a very useat and let our spiritual self and Goddess drive the bus of our life.eful tool for life on the physical plane. We need your capacity to analyze and plan and create understanding, sweetie. We just need you to stay in a passenger seat and let our spiritual self and Goddess drive the bus of our life.

E: We like being an actor rather than the director of our life, Nance. Directing all the time was exhausting. Trying to manage every aspect of our life is exhausting. And it’s ok for us to still feel soft and a little vulnerable, right?

N: Of course, love. We’ve been noticing how much more cooperative you are, and more approachable. As those old neural patterns continue to be reprogrammed, you’ll learn to love feeling soft and vulnerable. Your softness and vulnerability will be powerful. You’ll see how much more light will pour through us, and you’ll learn to receive and to live in love and peace and praise and gratitude. Humility won’t have the sting it does now; it’ll become easier and easier to surrender and let Goddess direct and guide us. That’s the path we’re on, beloved.

E: And we’re very happy to walk that path with you and the Mother, Nance. We’re getting used to humility… blessed be! And thanks for taking this time with us, Nance.

N: My pleasure, beloved Ego – I treasure you! Blessed be!



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