- Nancy Ogilvie
Living in Service to the Divine
Updated: Nov 16, 2020
Principle: We are in a co-creative partnership with the Divine. We need Her, and She needs us to be Her physical presence on the planet.
Practice/Prayer: Continually ask how you can serve the Divine in each moment, especially when you feel inadequate, confused, or scattered.
This morning, my journaling took a form it often does – a dialog between different parts of myself. These "inner parts" can include:
· Sweet Innocence (SI), the young girl who loves herself and knows she is perfect, whole and complete in Spirit’s eyes. She is genuine, spontaneous, vulnerable. She sometimes shows up in an adult version, fully expressed, overflowing, exuberant. She is the newest of my parts to emerge, so is sometimes subject to being “taken over” by one of the more experienced, judgmental parts. She’s like a tender shoot emerging in the spring.
· Wounded child (WC) the young one who was injured by the judgment and betrayal she experienced growing up. She believes she is unlovable, unworthy, incapable.
· Super Ego (SE), the internalized voice of my parents from when they were socializing me as a young child. This voice is often highly critical and tells me stories about who I am that cause me to doubt my lovability, my capability, my worthiness. She undermines my self-esteem and sense of agency. AKA "The Inner Judge"
· Ego (E), the human mind part who wants life to be logical and reasonable so it’s predictable and she knows what’s happening and what to do. She’s very useful for negotiating a physical human life in 3 dimensions – and her vision of what’s possible is tiny in comparison to what’s truly possible in Spirit. She limits us because she simply does not see the possibilities. She likes things to stay the same.
· Nancy (N) – the adult self who knows herself as a spiritual being first, having a human experience second. She is actively growing to become more fully human and more fully divine.
N: So what’s up, sweetie? You’re on the hamster wheel, huh, trying to beat Super Ego by running faster and faster? And you don’t know how to stop and get off?
WC: Yes, it’s the same dynamic Dad and I had, the pointing fingers, accusing, blaming each other dynamic. The feeling victimized, self-pitying, powerless, hopeless dynamic.
N: So you feel trapped in an old pattern, and you’re annoyed with yourself for that? It sounds pretty human to me.
WC: Yes. I’m believing there’s something wrong with me – that I’m not good enough. Being human is not good enough! Help me forgive myself for being human, Mamas! I want that, and I’m scared of it too…”
N: I think I've gotten stuck in identifying with your little wounded self, love – that’s part of the old pattern. We begin to feel as if we're still 3 or 4 years old, totally dependent on Mom and Dad and desperate to please them. And that’s not who we are anymore. We're a 67-year-old woman with skills and resources we didn't have when we were little. Our adult view of the world is quite different from yours. So I can soothe you by reminding you that we're no longer helpless, no matter how much you feel that way. We do not need others' approval to feel loved and capable anymore.
And most important, we can remember together that we are a perfect, whole and complete expression of the Divine Who loves us more than we can imagine. She needs us to be Her arms and legs and mind and voice on the planet. We’re not alone – we don’t have to figure this out on our own, like we did when we were young. We can ask for help and know She will provide. We can choose one action at a time to take, as She guides us. We only need to take one step at a time – even one baby step. Remember tiny acts of courage?
SI: We’re undoing a pattern that’s been habitual for 67 years! We can have some patience with ourself.
N: Yes – good for you, Sweet Innocence!
SI: I feel scared, Nance -- scared of claiming my divinity, of expressing myself so freely. Maybe a more open question is: "How can we serve the Whole by being big, bold, beautiful? Making it about serving instead of my own glory.
N: And how can we – or what baby steps would move us in that direction? We’re already taking some – writing for sharing, praying every hour, etc.
SI: We want to live in bold service to the Goddess, Nancy, we are Her priestess. We want to be One with Her – and the truth is we can’t be as long as we live in this body temple – not completely. But we can bring human and Divine closer together in us. We can show others what’s possible when we live in Oneness with the Divine.
N: Yes – that’s what we want, love! And that requires cultivating more and more right relationship, more and more trust and faith in the Mother. That She’ll keep us safe in ways ego has never been able to. Or more, that “safety” is not the goal – safety and comfort are overrated. That Love is the Way, the Path, the Truth, always.
SI: We want to live our human life with our relationship with the Mother primary. Serving Her in all we are and do. Blessed be!
N: Blessed be, Sweet Innocence.