Principle: When I open to Divine guidance and love, I move more easily and quickly on my path, with less suffering.
Practice: Pray for willingness to release self-reliance and open to Divine support.
Written 8/20/21, 9pm
It’s not very often that I journal in the evening. But tonight, I was settling in to watch Netflix, and was prompted – fairly loudly – to write. This is what unfolded.
Earlier today, I realized I was in that state of agitation that is reminiscent of my terror and overwhelm when I was very little and knew something was horribly wrong. I was convinced whatever was wrong was my fault because I was such an unlovable, despicable little girl, unworthy and a burden on everyone around me. I was overwhelmed with conflicting, intense emotions and felt totally alone trying to manage them. I desperately tried to make it better, and I didn’t know what was wrong or how to fix it.
The first response to come up to this statement was to hear myself say, “I’m not alone now. I have lots of human and spiritual support available now.”
And the second response was from the Divine, the One Love:
“Of course you feel confused and disoriented. You just hanged your ego in Wisdom School and since, and your life is turned upside down. Of course you want to ‘right the boat,’ to turn yourself right side up, the old way, the familiar way, the comfortable way. Of course you feel agitated and uncomfortable and unwilling to experience the intense degree of vulnerability you just surrendered to. You are naked and hanging upside down from your feet, for God’s sake – did you expect that to be easy and joyful and fun?
“You’ve been berating yourself for being inadequate, for not knowing how to navigate this path, for being a beginner. What’s wrong with those feelings when you’ve been ‘turned upside down?’ You are inadequate, you don’t know this path, you are a beginner; that’s not a problem. Those feelings in fact reflect being present with what is, so they’re quite appropriate.
“What is getting in the way and adding to your suffering is your insistence that you have to figure this out on your own. There is so much Divine support and love all around you, Nance, and you’re refusing it. The Mother, Yeshua, Archangel Michael, Ggantija Priestess, your mom, so many wise ones are just waiting for you to ask for help. Yeshua has walked this path you’re on; He wants to be your Teacher. The sooner you can open – even a tiny bit – to the guidance that’s available, the easier the path will be, the more quickly you’ll move on it, and the less your suffering will be.
“We will never coerce you to surrender, Nance. But you know the Divine Plan will eventually unfold, and you will move into surrendering by choice; it's inevitable. The question is just sooner or later? Will you trust Us to help you on the path? Will you trust Us to love you and guide you in this time of upheaval and transformation? Will you turn over your self-reliance, your belief in your unlovability and unworthiness? Will you come into the present moment where you can meet Us? Let Us love you, beloved priestess!”
And from True Self, I replied: “I am Your Priestess, Beloveds All! Yes, I will let You love me; I will receive Your love. Yes, I will own my worth and power as Your Priestess, and use them to serve You. Yes, I will take Your Hand and follow Your guidance as a child, a beginner in this new world that I know nothing of. I will enter into co-creative partnership with You and be Your beloved as You are mine all the days of my life. I am Your Priestess!”
Blessed be!
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