Principle: Once you’ve taken the leap into the Goddess’ arms, you’ll need to practice new behaviors in your daily life.
Practice: Chop wood and carry water. Attending to the details of providing for yourself is still necessary when you’re in the Goddess’ arms.
written 3/26/21 Friday
Good morning, Beloveds all: Isis, Sekhmet, Great Mother, Yeshua, guides, wisdom teachers in all forms and no form. You are my Life, my Source, my Love, and I bow down in humble adoration before You… almost. That’s where I want to be, and I’m not quite centered there in this moment. But I feel that possibility, Beloveds; I know it in my body temple. Thank You for this day to walk this sacred Earth path with You and as You. And through You – You are my Infinite Source.
I’ve just completed leading morning prayer, and was touching but not quite in union with You, Beloveds All. SE woke me up at 4:30, and was active during prayer, and I chose to practice both of yesterdays 2 actions with him:
(1) Acknowledging his presence and being kind to him
(2) Turning my focus to You, sweet Mamas.
So I did open to being Your priestess in some moments, and I did not engage with SE. He still got my attention a number of times, but I didn’t take his bait to join in the power struggle. I kept my agency; I was solidly the adult in the driver’s seat. What a breakthrough this is, Mamas – thank You!
I’m also aware of the sense of loss around all this, or not really even loss as much as relief to be releasing all this old that doesn’t serve. It’s really both loss and relief – it’s loss of the familiar, the known, and the security – illusory though it may be – of knowing who I am and how to be, even when I don’t like it much. It’s loss of the illusory power that comes with the belief that I can control others. And it’s the loss of hope for LO that those old ways will work some day to get her 5-year old needs and desires met, the way she wanted, when she wanted.
And the sense of relief is that I’m free of the confines of that old prison of the familiar, of who I’ve thought I am. I found the key to my prison cell and freed myself. It’s the relief that I no longer need to wear my “good girl” or “big girl” costume. It’s the relief of infinite new possibilities opening up, and most especially the possibility of freely choosing to be Your priestess, Mamas, to serve You.
It’s the relief of knowing the freedom to be whoever You would have me be, knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that being my True Self in co-creative partnership with You is the ultimate joy. Even when it doesn’t feel very good. It’s the relief of knowing myself to be a site of Divine Wisdom in the world, learning and growing as a spiritual being having a human experience.
It's what I’ve always wanted, Beloveds! To give myself freely, express myself freely, to be a full-out expression of You in all things. And I’m curious about this idea that has come up lately that being Your priestess won’t always feel good or always make me happy. Maybe that’s one of the ways Yeshua (the Hebrew name for Jesus, which is Greek) is a role model, a mentor, a teacher for me. Certainly, He suffered in Your service. It feels like there’s more to be revealed about this aspect – and right now, I’m trying to figure it out with my human mind and not including You, so I’ll stop here.
Thank You, Beloveds All! Help me to choose opening to You this day, to choose Your will over mine. Blessed be!