Recovering Joy and Play
Principle: Opening to joy and play brings us closer to the Divine.
Practice: How did you find joy as a child? How did you love to play? How can you recapture these in your life now?
written 3/27/21 Saturday (if this is your first post in the "inner dialog" format, please see the "cast of characters" at the end of the post).
Good morning, Beloveds All: Isis, Sekhmet Great Mother, Yeshua, all guides, angels, wisdom teachers! SE has kidnapped my vitality this morning, and I feel depressed. So I practice being kind to him because he’s not well and turning my attention to You, Beloveds, and how I can be of service. And I have a meeting and time with a local friend and my friends in England today, so that’s all good. And an Ann Arbor Symphony concert tonight! That’s helping me shift to gratitude now, and opening my heart a little. Thank You, Mamas, and thank You for this day to walk this sacred Earth path with You and as You!
N: I’m starting to see that it’s open-heartedness and the joy and gratitude and vitality they bring that freaks you out, huh, SE?
SE: Don’t bother me. I’m busy.
N: I see. All right. Who else wants to check in?
LO: I could claim my seat, even with SE hovering. Your boldness is inspiring me, mama Nance. SE wants me to believe I don’t deserve to exist, to take up space, to claim my seat – and he’s wrong. I’m going to show up to play anyway. What he thinks is none of my business.
N: Good job, love. I see you, Sweet Innocence, and you are so radiantly beautiful. And it is your birthright to play – to come out to play in the sunshine whenever you want. This shift in being for us means you are no longer confined to the dark dungeons of seriousness and hypervigilance and being careful, all in the name of keeping yourself safe.
LO: I’m free to play in the sun!?! There isn’t any sun now – and I can still play. But I like it better when the sun shines on me! It feels so good on my skin, and I can run and laugh and skip!
N: Yes. And how else would you like to play, love?
LO: I want to dance, Nance, and move my body. I want to ride my bike and roller skate and finger paint and make big messes!
N: Wow, have I ever shut down a lot of our body joy, love. I may need – will need – your help to open that up again, and we can certainly start dancing again – and roller skating is scary because older me worries about falling… I’ve just added dancing to our "to-do" list for today. And we could finger paint soon – I’ll just need to buy supplies. Would you like to go to a craft store or a toy store just to explore possibilities? And we could have more play dates with our five-year-old friend.
LO: Really? I’d love that, mama Nance! I might be rusty on playing, but I’m sure it’ll come back fast! Maybe some clay too!?!
N: Ok, we can go on a shopping adventure either this afternoon or tomorrow sometime.
LO: Cool – thanks, mama Nance! Now I’m getting scared by my exuberance/excitement! Is it ok? It’s not too much?
N: It’s not too much, love. It’s beautiful and I love seeing you in it. It’ll just take some getting used to… I’m thinking about the Artist’s Way (see citation in "Resources") and artist dates… the book has come up a couple times lately, and maybe it’s time to do it again. That might be a very tangible way to practice focusing on the Mother and how to serve Her. Wow – I have – we have – so much joy in serving Her! I have no idea where my copy of the book is, or even if it moved from CA. Would you like to do it again, maybe find some others to join in?
LO: Yes, please! That sounds great!
N: There’s an online video class we could do! And now I’m feeling SE freaking out again… do you still want to be left alone, love? This must be really anathema to you.
SE: Screw you, Nance – go away!
N: Ok. I see you’re having a tough time – I see you. And I’m moving on. Hope you have a good day, ‘cause I’m planning to.
LO: We want to go swimming when it gets warmer, too! And we want to get in the hot tub more!
N: So now I’m seeing that you’re a great support for tapping into my joy and spontaneity and playfulness, sweetie. This is one of the new possibilities coming out of our big shift – a relationship of joy and play and exuberance, with you leading the way. Are you up for that?
LO It’s a dream come true, Nance! And I feel vulnerable… you’ll keep me safe enough? You’ll protect me?
N: To my very, very best, love – and you’re always in the Mother’s loving arms.
LO: Thanks, mama – and Mamas. This really is a dream come true. Thanks for meeting my needs now! Blessed be!
N: You are so welcome, love! Blessed be!
Cast of Characters:
N: Nancy, my adult self
B: Beloveds, the Divine sometimes speak directly to me
WC: Wounded Child, the part that is still traumatized by childhood wounding
SI: Sweet Innocence, the whole, healthy child who knows she is lovable and worthy
LOs: Little Ones, a composite of WC/SI when they seem to be one, or may also refer to a composite of all parts when I’m not yet clear on who’s speaking
Ego: my ego self or human mind
SE: Super Ego, the internal voice of our parents or other authority figures when they were trying to socialize us into responsible human beings; this voice generally has the role of enforcing our parents’ rules for us growing up, whether or not they serve us now as adults. It can be harshly judgmental and punishing.