Transformation One Step at a Time
Principle: The Mother’s hand is always available for us to take. We never have to do it all alone.
Practice: Ask for Her guidance with little decisions to build your muscles for bigger things.
4/13/21 Tuesday - "SE" is my Super Ego, the judgmental, critical part that is the internalized voice of my parents when I was little.
Good morning, Beloveds All: Isis, Sekhmet, Great Mother, Yeshua, all guides and wise ones. I just finished with my rosary group so much, and I’m really excited about being together for the week-long retreat we call Wisdom School early in June. Thank You, Mamas, for bringing that about! And thank You for this day to walk this sacred Earth path with You, as You and through You!
I’m feeling sorry for myself this morning, and wanting to be taken care of, not wanting to be an adult. And I feel the temptation to judge and try to change myself, so hi, SE! I’ve been living in the hope that you were gone, either retired permanently or dead, and now I’m acknowledging that I’m back in the power struggle with you and telling myself – at least tempted to tell myself – that I’ve failed and I’ll never get this right. Well, the latter is correct, because there is no “right” way to “get this.”
I know that this is about not wanting to feel and not wanting to surrender to You, Beloveds. But the truth is that I’ve already surrendered to You in taking my vows, and those feelings are part of an old story. The new story is feeling what’s present, being present with receiving Your love and knowing You will provide all I need.
The transformation You're offering is knowing that all things are possible in You when I live in co-creative partnership, in right relationship with You. For all my long journey with You, I still feel like a beginner at that, Beloveds, although I do see the progress I’ve made. Please help me to surrender to Your will, and help me to show up in service to You. May I do Your will always. And help me to be gentle and tender with myself in my humanity, Beloved Mamas.
Thank You for helping me peel another layer off the onion this day. Help me to practice presence with what is today, to walk in vulnerability and power. When I choose vulnerability, I walk in Your power, Your strength, Your courage. It’s my vulnerability and neediness symbolized in my asking for help, that opens the door for You to pour Your good through me. Help me to take baby steps on this path today, and to be satisfied that they are – I am – enough in my imperfect humanity. Help me to live in right relationship with You this day. Show me the way!
And I’m noticing that You led me to another way, Mamas, in this writing. I thought I was going back to an inner dialog with SE when I started, and I paused to ask what You would have me do. What I heard was “ask for help,” subtle, very quiet. “You have the option to ask for help rather than figure it out yourself.” It wasn’t even a fully conscious or deliberate decision; it was not anything I decided to do differently. You just gently steered me in a new direction. This feels softer, gentler, less effortful – I’m holding Your hand instead of trying to do it all on my own. What a relief!
So now I’m also seeing that this is the path to transformation. Transformation happens in asking for Your help in baby steps, not in a blinding flash of enlightenment. When I remember to ask for Your guidance, you direct me one step, one action at a time. I can always choose to ask you what the next right action is, even down to the most basic details:
· what shall I wear today?
· what shall I have for breakfast today?
· what time shall I leave for my appointment today?
It's my job to take action – Your job is directing and guiding those actions. I am the actor; you are the director of my life. That’s how I live in right relationship with You in each moment, Mamas. I build the muscles for transformation by asking for your direction on little things, one step at a time. Then when I have a bigger decision to make, it’s easier to ask for and follow your guidance and transform my life. So today, I will practice asking for your help!