Principle: Life is much easier when I take responsibility for meeting my own needs first.
Practice: When I feel overwhelmed, ask if I’m taking responsibility for others’ well-being and needs.
written 2/22/21 Monday (if this is your first post in the "inner dialog" format, "LO" is my inner child or little one; "N" is Nancy, my adult self).
Good morning, Beloveds All: Isis, Sekhmet, Great Mother, all guides in all forms. Thank You for Your Presence – and thank You for another day to walk this sacred Earth path with You and as You. I cannot live without You.
We’re in hiding this morning, not wanting to show up or be present, and certainly that’s not a big surprise after showing up so boldly yesterday.
LO: We want a rest day, Nance. We want to be on auto-pilot today, not have to show up and be responsible… oh, maybe not. We don’t like abdicating, not being present. We want to be fully present, fully expressing ourself, fully alive. We give up our agency, our sovereignty when we hide and abdicate our responsibility. When we’re present, we’re visible and maybe vulnerable – we acknowledge that we don’t have control over others. We’re grown up – we take responsibility for ourself and our needs. We know we’re not entitled to have all our needs met now, as we want. When we hide, we’re living in the illusion of safety and control, we’re abdicating our agency, playing victim. Being responsible/grown up feels like a heavy burden to carry. I feel very muddled and confused. Too “in the soup” to see clearly.
N: And can you let that be ok, sweetie? Seems like you’re pushing for clarity.
LO: Yes – I don’t like feeling muddled. I feel vulnerable when I’m muddled. Dad might yell at me to make up my mind.
N: And what could you say in response? Remember, it’s SE who would say that now.
LO: Oh! I could say it sometimes takes some time to get clear, and that I trust my process. I will get clear, I will make a decision or choice in Divine right timing and order. It’s not helpful to rush myself – I move at the Mother’s speed, not his.
N: That’s a clear “showing up” response, love, a clear taking responsibility for yourself. It’s good taking care of yourself. Does it feel burdensome or overwhelming?
LO: No, not at all. It feels freeing and easy and graceful There’s no struggle. It feels like good taking care of myself. Oh - taking responsibility, showing up, is good self-care. I’m taking care of myself, I trust myself, I’m choosing, and I like it! It’s letting go of playing victim and expecting – waiting – for others to meet my needs. It’s being grown up – and it’s fun! Wow – who’d a thunk it? (This is a phrase that was used in my family when someone was truly amazed.)
N: Who’d a thunk it?
LO: When I feel overloaded, I’m taking responsibility for others’ wellbeing, Nance! Taking responsibility just for mine is so easy in comparison! And it means letting go of the hope that someone else is going to meet those early needs that never got met. Somebody is going to be a perfect enough mother to fill the hole I’ve felt inside because those needs didn’t get met. Somebody else is going to heal those early wounds by seeing me and loving me as I am. And nobody else can do that for me, nor am I entitled to have that happen. It’s not possible.
N: That’s profound healing, love. You’re healing yourself.
LO: We’re healing ourself. Thanks, mama Nance! I’m complete – blessed be!
N: Blessed be!