Principle: Being human and having human needs is not a sign of being inadequate or unworthy.
Practice: Imagine looking at yourself through the Eyes of the Divine.
written 6/19/21
Good morning, Beloveds All: Isis, Sekhmet, Great Mother, Yeshua, GP, Archangel Michael, all guides, angels, ancestors, wise ones. Morning prayer has helped me to open a bit, to reconnect a little with True Self, and I’m grateful for that. She offers at least some presence and compassion for my experience. Thank You, Beloveds, for Your continual availability, and thank You for this new day to walk this sacred Earth path with You, as You, through You, and in You.
This morning in meditation, I saw a clear depiction of the relationship between my human, egoic self and Super Ego. Ego acts out a lot, compulsively trying to keep me safe by controlling the people and world around her. She’s really attached to perceiving herself as a victim of others, unworthy of love and attention. And SE tries to control her with shame and humiliation; in essence, she says to her, “You’re being a pain, cut it out!” I got really tangled in that victim-perpetrator struggle yesterday, with each part accusing, blaming and shaming the other, each wanting the other to change.
So I totally lost touch with True Self. And that means I lost my connection with You, Beloveds; I was trying to manage my life on my own resources. That keeps me trapped in victim and separate self – and in this moment, I do have compassion for that. I get to be a beginner at being fully connected with You, Beloveds, acknowledging my abject dependence and vulnerability with You. Please help me keep that channel open today. Strengthen my willingness to admit my powerlessness to control others and to put my faith and trust in You.
It's so helpful that I’m in acceptance around this, Mamas – that what I would once have seen as a “failure to hold onto the spiritual expansion of Wisdom School” I now see and accept as a natural part of being human. In the world of duality, there has to be a contraction for every expansion; that’s just the way it is. I have not failed; I do not need to berate myself for being inadequate. I am human, living in a dualistic world, doing my best to stay open and available to the Divine, to live as the union of spiritual and human.
And accepting my humanity, accepting living in a dualistic world as what is, accepting the limits of being human and accepting my powerlessness makes it ok to need Divine help – any help. It means needing help is not an admission of inadequacy. It means my needs are not an imposition on others, an admission that I’ve failed as a human being. I’m not supposed to be able to do this without connection with You, Beloveds! Leaning into You, seeking Your love and guidance and support is how it’s/I’m supposed to be! Whew!!!
SE and Ego are bolt upright with that idea! What a relief – being human is not a cause for shame and humiliation. It’s an opportunity to open, to receive the Divine Wisdom, Love, Peace, Joy You would pour through, Mamas, that You’ve been eagerly waiting for me to open to.
And yes, it can be a gradual process, LBs! The Mamas know not to firehose us, and it’s always your choice to step back into old ways if you get panicked, SE. I hope you’ll learn over time to express your needs more directly as you get more comfortable with vulnerability – and it’s my commitment to you to listen and be compassionate in response to your needs. To practice staying present and responding instead of reacting from past patterns. We will open the channel slowly, so we can all adjust.
And what are the practices that help me open to You, Beloveds? They’ll be so important in this time!
· Walking the land, using the eye and ear of my heart; connecting with my tree friend, Cindy
· Practicing presence and Presence – staying connected with myself so I am open to the Divine Presence moving through
· Moving my body consciously
· Eating consciously
· Poetry and music (both playing the piano and listening)
· Prayer
· Yoga
· Scripture/spiritual reading
· Practicing vulnerability with friends
· Asking for what I want/need
· Service to others – evening prayer, mentees, supporting friends
· Creative activities
I’m sure there are more – and this is a good start! Blessed be!