- Nancy Ogilvie
Walking Unarmed into the Unknown
Principle: Feeling connected with Goddess and others requires willingness to receive, to be open, vulnerable and honest.
Practice: To open your heart to greater intimacy, practice grounding, taking small risks, asking for what you want, or otherwise increasing your vulnerability.
If this is your first post in the "inner dialog" format, see "Cast of Characters" at the end of this post.
I feel so open and vulnerable, Mamas, and am so grateful for that gift. Nine friends from different corners of my life spent 2 hours in Michael Bernard Beckwith’s visioning process with me this afternoon (see Resources page). They brought their perspectives on my skills and gifts to clarifying what’s possible and might be next for me. I am humbled, and receiving their love for me. And Yours, Beloveds – thanks!
What’s up for you, LO’s?
LO’s: We’re out of our comfort zone, so feeling a little tentative. Oh, SE is on edge too – and we’re all willing to practice presence. This morning, we remembered a quote from one of our daily readers and made it our intent for the visioning: “I walk unarmed into the arena of the unknown, praying only for greater honesty and intimacy with Goddess, myself, and others.” It’s such a bold, provocative thought! And we did that, Nance – we were open-hearted, trusting, and honest, and that created more intimacy among this group of friends! We want to stay present with all the love and support we received from them today, and it’s a challenge to feel so vulnerable!
Is that really you, SI?
LO’s: It’s a muddle of all of us, Nance. We’re so loved and supported – and we’re practicing receiving that. Could it be that we can count on that?
SI: Yes, because we’re a perfect, whole and complete expression of the One Love!
N: It was quite an expansion to see so much support, and to hear our friends’
acknowledgements. And I believe you’re right, SI – we can count on it! There’s something shifting as a result of our ritual work to cut our emotional bonds to Dad… he’s been dead for more than a year, but we’ve continued trying to please the “inner dad” who still lives in our heads. We cut those cords earlier this week.
SI: We so want to express our true self freely, Nance, and we can now that we don’t feel confined to being a good girl. And that also means we don’t have to be so enraged at Dad. He’s not confining us anymore – and he’d be pleased that I’m taking on being myself!
Yes, you’re right again, love. Ego is here too, and she’s pretty unsettled by all the uncertainty and change. And you and I together with the Mother are in charge here.
SI: I’ve wanted this all my life, Nance. We’re free – really free to be our true self. And we got to see how much our true self is loved today. It’s what I’ve always wanted!
N: Me too, love, me too. Pretty wonderful, huh? And it was so clear today. We’re loved just as we are. We can really have what we want – all of what we’ve always wanted!
SI: We already have all we’ve ever wanted! It’s a miracle!
N: God/dess is good all of the time!
SI: I feel raw still, so I’d like you to stay close – and I feel complete for now… I need the focus off me a bit.
N: OK, sweetheart… I love you so, Sweet Innocense!
SI: I know – thanks Nance! Blessed be!
Cast of Characters:
N: Nancy, my adult self
WC: Wounded Child, the part that is still traumatized by childhood wounding
SI: Sweet Innocence, the whole, healthy child who knows she is lovable and worthy
LOs: Little Ones, a composite of WC/SI when they seem to be one, or may also refer to a composite of all parts when I’m not yet clear on who’s speaking
Ego: my ego self or human mind
SE: Super Ego, the internal voice of our parents or other authority figures when they were trying to socialize us into responsible human beings; this voice generally has the role of enforcing our parents’ rules for us growing up, whether or not they serve us now as adults. It can be harshly judgmental and punishing.